Ever get the feeling that you're desperately trying to become something that you're just not meant to be? On October 13th, I posted a variation of this question on both
Facebook and
Twitter because that's exactly how I was feeling at that moment. I felt like I was frantically chasing a dream that I was not intended to realize.
You see, for the past couple of years I've wanted to pursue an interior design degree and open my own design firm. My number one motive was to supplement my family's income; which isn't a bad reason to do something, right? But the problem wasn't with my motive, it was with my heart. I was trying to create my own way. You know, do my own thing. Deep down I knew my other motive was to impress others with the title of "interior designer" and with my {would be} immaculately decorated home.
So, I set about to start up a business and begin working on my design degree. For the past year, I've done everything I can to try to make these dreams happen but have faced one closed door after another. Naturally, I became frustrated at God and upset with my husband. Why? Well, I was frustrated at God because I felt like He wasn't allowing me to make my dreams happens and I was upset with my husband because he didn't want to move closer to a college that offered an interior design degree. After many arguments with both of them {God and hubby}, I finally gave up fighting.
I still would love to become and interior designer because I am absolutely fascinated with how they can use individual elements like fabric, paint, furniture, and accessories to form a beautiful space. But, is it really worth it? Sure I'd have a degree and {maybe} impress a few people but I wouldn't be doing what God has called me to do. And, honestly, I'd rather give up my dreams and be in His will than walk away from Him to chase something that wasn't meant to be.
So, what exactly has God called me to?
Lately, I've spoken with several of members of my family who, without me having to say anything about this internal struggle {actually, I just asked them to help me figure out a way to pursue interior design}, basically told me that I should pursue something else. My husband's aunt, who I claim as my own, told me that God has blessed me with the ability to organize and that I should use that gift for Him. My Mom and Dad both told me that I am a excellent writer and that it is in my best interest to do something that will allow me to use my gifts to the glory of God. {Yep, after all these years, my parents are still right about A LOT of things!}
I don't share this with you to boast about what I can do {because, let's face it, there are plenty of things I can't do}. Rather, I tell you about these conversations because God used them to help me see what I am supposed to be doing with my life.
I say all that to say this: I believe that God has laid it on my heart to start a ministry that exists to teach women how to become godly women - focusing on using organizing tools and principles to become more intentional in their God-given roles {wife, mother, home manager, etc}.
What does that mean for this blog?
Well, here are some immediate changes:
- I am going to be more open about my faith. For those of you who don't share the same beliefs, you are still welcome here. However, I do ask that any comments remain respectful and constructive. I will delete those that come across otherwise. To everyone: please allow me to formally apologize for not being upfront about my faith before now. I don't think I avoided this topic out of embarrassment as much as it was because I didn't want to offend anyone. Although I don't ever mean to offend anyone on purpose, if you find that you are offended by what I have to say, you are welcome to unsubscribe.
- The topics which I focus on will more than likely keep in line with organizing, as this is still very much a passion of mine. However, they are will be more about how organizing skills can help you become a more intentional woman and a more efficient home manager. I realize that some of you are not married and some don't have children, but if you live on your own, you are a home manager.
Here's what you can expect in the months to come:
- I know my blog has gone through several "identity changes" as I've diligently tried to find my niche in the blogging world and I realize that this may frustrate a few of you. However, if you will bear with me through one more change, I think I'll be done for a while. What kind of changes? Well, {yet another} name change is going to have to happen, as "Bella Organized Interiors" no longer accurately describes what my blog is about. Hopefully I'll be registering a ".org" URL within the coming months, so you'll have to update your bookmarks or resubscribe {whichever the case may be}. Along with those changes comes new Facebook, Twitter, and email accounts, as well.
- Lord willing, I'll have an eBook available sometime next year. An idea is brewing that I'm excited about but I am also trying to seek God's heart before proceeding.
Hopefully I've explained it all in an understandable way. If you have any questions for me, feel free to comment below or email me at bellaorganizedinteriors {at} gmail {dot} com.
Thanks for Listening!
